Have you ever wondered what your purpose is in life?  Do you believe you are here for a reason?  For many people, these questions are far too abstract and difficult, yet others love to ponder the answers.

What I have noticed is that as women age they become more inquisitive, more curious as to why they are here and what they are REALLY here to do.

I am one who loves to continually ask myself this question and am extremely interested in what other people believe.  Some are very clear on what their purpose is and many go through this life never knowing or even asking.

Personally, I believe our main purpose is to experience joy on a daily basis. What gives us joy and how we bring it into our lives however is all very individual.  The difficulty often lies in the fact that as busy women we may not take the time to really ask, “what truly brings me joy?”

If your life purpose or mission is something you want to discover, start asking yourself some powerful questions.  What drives or inspires you?  When do you feel truly happy and connected?  What brings you joy?  Where do you feel you contribute the most?  What do you value?  What energizes you?  When you leave this world, what do you want people to remember you for?  The answers to these questions can often help you develop your life purpose.

Knowing and believing you are put here on this earth for a particular reason can bring much joy, happiness and contentment into your life.  We tend to struggle less and enjoy life more.  Often you hear people say, “I feel stuck,” or “I don’t know what I am supposed to do with my life.”  In my coaching sessions with women, these are common statements.  Discovering your purpose gives focus to your life, therefore more meaning and clarity.

The first step to determining your life purpose is to become clearer on your priorities and to begin practicing better self-care.  Chaos creates confusion so look at ways to bring more balance and peace to your life.  Start a habit of always asking yourself questions.

Self questioning is one of the best ways to learn more about who we are and why we are here.  Reflect on and journal the answers to the questions I asked earlier.  Be inquisitive about life in general.  There is so much to be discovered.  Be patient and enjoy the process.

Determining your purpose can be an ongoing journey, but once you discover it, you will attract everything you need in this life.  When you know why you are here, the journey becomes a whole lot more fun.  So hang on and enJOY the ride!!!

Balance, Family, Wellness life purpose, self care

Quote:

” A mother who radiates self acceptance and self love actually vaccinates her daughter against low self esteem”. Naomi Wolf

When I work with a mom who is struggling with work life balance, one of the exercises I sometimes have them do is to write down all their beliefs about being a mother.  Often much of the guilt we feel as mothers is related to the unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves.

If you have a belief that all mothers should love motherhood then those days when you feel like packing your suitcase(and there could be many!) and buying a one way ticket may end up resulting in extreme feelings of guilt.  If you believe that good mothers should stay home to raise their children and you have a desire to have a career, conflicting emotions will certainly appear.  What about yelling?  Do good mothers yell and scream?  Do good mothers take a vacation by themselves?  Do good mothers give in to their children’s many requests?

As you see there are many beliefs we may hold without even realizing it.  Our beliefs shape our lives but we rarely examine our belief system.

So, get a pen and paper and write down all the beliefs you have about what a good mother is or does.  Now look at these and decide if the beliefs are empowering beliefs or limiting beliefs.  For example, if you have a belief that a good mother shouldn’t have babysitters raising their kids and you have a sitter almost daily, then this belief is far from empowering you as a mother.  This would unconsciously result in conflicting and confusing emotions, guilt and a battered sense of accomplishment as a mom.

Next, for all the beliefs you identify as self sabotaging, turn them around to be empowering and begin to adopt this as your new belief.  As in the example above, turning this belief around can result in something like this….A good mother knows that using a babysitter is often a necessary part of motherhood.  Now doesn’t that make you feel better and more successful as a mom?

Recently while working with a client, I gave her this exercise and she shared with me that she had found it extremely helpful in moving her forward as a mother and as a woman.  We had worked together for several months around beliefs and other issues. At the end of our coaching she had said that the biggest result she had gotten was that she felt happier in her life.  She really had changed the perception of her identity as a mother and started being less judgmental of herself.  She became more accepting and gave herself permission to be imperfect as a mother. She also enjoyed her kids more.

Holding unrealistic expectations of ourselves can cause great stress and anxiety.  When we are able to challenge these expectations or beliefs, we give ourselves permission to be imperfect, to be human.  It is through our imperfect moments where real growth can occur.

Being able to accept these imperfections is part of a healthy identity in motherhood.  So drop the Super Mom Syndrome, stop judging yourself and other mothers, create expectations that work for you not against you and remember there is no university with a Motherhood Degree.  It is all trial and error and we do the best we can at the time.

To accept ourselves as we are is the most powerful thing we can model to our children.    So let’s build ourselves up instead of putting ourselves down.  Let’s respect the decisions’ of other mothers because they are not us.  Let’s allow each mother to have their own unique identity.  Let’s make motherhood be about empowering ourselves and each other. Let’s start today.  Our kids are counting on it.

Article written by Peggy Porter-The Success Coach for Mom Entrepreneurs

All Rights Reserved. Article may be reprinted in its entirety with resource box included.

Peggy Porter is a coach, author and speaker.  Peggy is known as The Success Coach for Mom Entrepreneurs and helps them plan, prioritize and be more productive so they can make more money in their business, spend more quality time with family and bring more energy and less stress to their own lives.   In her fr*ee report The 3 Essential Keys to Mom Entrepreneur Success found at www.peggyporter.com , Peggy shows Mom Entrepreneurs what is needed to have a successful family and successful business, at the same time!

Balance, Family, Wellness Balance, motherhood, Wellness

For any of you Moms out there that are doing it all, attempting to gain Super Mom status, let me give you my own personal opinion…It’s not worth it!!!

The pursuit of the Super Mom is an endless search that will be of great cost to you in the end.  Here are 10 reasons why you need to put an immediate halt to this pursuit.

# 1-There is no such thing as a Mom who can do everything perfect because as far as I am concerned, perfection comes at a very high price. Seemingly perfect to other people, often is not the way things really are for the perfectionist.

#2-The Super Mom Syndrome is literally killing women.  Stress related diseases are on the rise and the demands that women place on themselves today directly contribute to the stress in their life, often all consuming.

#3-There is far too many roles in our life today.  Trying to keep up with the different hats we wear on a daily basis is sometimes impossible.  Feeling the need to be perfect in them all is exhausting.

#4- Our children miss out on some precious experiences with us that they can’t get back.  We are frequently so wrapped up in our to-do list that we forget to put the really important things on the list at all.

#5-It’s exhausting!!!  Having to do everything that you feel society expects of you as a mother is overwhelming.

#6-It’s no fun.  How much fun has anyone really had attempting to do everything perfect???

#7- Your friends will like you more when you can laugh at your imperfections along with theirs.

#8-Your quality of life will immediately improve.  When you make the decision to give yourself a break and do your own personal best instead of 100% perfect, a huge weight is lifted off your shoulders.  Anxiety and depression can be an end result of unrealistic standards placed on yourself on a consistent basis.

#9-The Super Mom never enjoys the moment.  She is always multitasking and thinking of what needs to be done next. Life will pass you by before you know it.

#10-Continuing to admire women who can do it all will continue to place unrealistic demands on mothers to do it all.  Let start to admire the mothers who take time to nurture themselves.  Let’s admire the women who can enjoy the time with the kids at the playground and be really present when they are reading to their children.  Let’s toast the Moms who admit they can’t do it all, all the time.  Let’s congratulate women on their honesty and ability to ask for help.  Let’s start to celebrate our imperfections instead of beating ourselves up over them.  Let’s stop judging each other and offer support instead.

We are not perfect creatures nor were we meant to be.  So why are we trying to be???  Wouldn’t Motherhood be a lot more fun if it didn’t have to be perfect?

Article written by Peggy Porter-The Success Coach for Mom Entrepreneurs

All Rights Reserved. Article may be reprinted in its entirety with resource box included.

Peggy Porter is a coach, author and speaker.  Peggy is known as The Success Coach for Mom Entrepreneurs and helps them plan, prioritize and be more productive so they can make more money in their business, spend more quality time with family and bring more energy and less stress to their own lives.   In her fr*ee report The 3 Essential Keys to Mom Entrepreneur Success found at www.peggyporter.com , Peggy shows Mom Entrepreneurs what is needed to have a successful family and successful business, at the same time!

Wellness super mom, Wellness, working mom

As a way of honoring yourself as a mother and a woman, I encourage you to practice some of these self care strategies that have been helpful for me and my clients:

1.       Give yourself permission to add self care to your life. It’s OK for it to be all about you sometimes. Think of self care as any act of nurturing, meaning anything that enhances your level of health, wellness and happiness. Look at all areas such as physical, mental, social, spiritual and financial. Paying an overdue bill can do just as much for your level of wellness sometimes as a warm bath.

2.       Recognize and blast the barriers. Ask yourself: what is preventing you from making self care an everyday occurrence? Some of my clients’ barriers that we often work through are feelings of guilt, lack of time, finances, lack of support or the need for perfectionism. If any of these ring true for you, take some time to determine a plan as to how you can overcome them. As Dr. Phil says..”You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge”.

3.       Ditch the Superwoman Syndrome. This syndrome is adding unnecessary stress and sickness to our lives. We place such unrealistic expectations on ourselves. The guilt we feel as mothers often fuels this Superwoman Syndrome. Start letting go of your mental chatter; practice saying No and remember no one’s life is perfect. As mothers we need to take Superwoman off the pedestal and start putting a more realistic, imperfect, yet happier Mom up there.

4.       Practice acts of self care on a daily basis. Start creating a daily habit routine.

5.       Remember that small acts can have big pay offs. It is the small yet consistent acts that really pay the biggest dividends toward your health. Instead of working out one hour every fourth day, try 25 min on daily basis. The smaller acts are more likely to become a routine.

6.       Allow yourself to dream. Moms can and deserve a life beyond motherhood. If you are craving something new in your life, ask yourself what are some of the dreams you have been putting off. I support Moms in making their dreams come true. Coaching moms in winning the game of life fulfillment while thriving in motherhood is what I do best. I see mothers come alive. I see their pursuit of passion finally realized. I see their ability to thrive in motherhood increase because they are following their dreams. A personally fulfilled woman makes an amazing mother.

7.       Get yourself a pair of rose colored glasses. Having a healthy perception of life and a positive attitude is one of the best self care strategies you can practice. It is a universal law that what you focus on expands so what are you focusing on? Is your glass always half empty? Do you complain about everything and everybody? Take some time to see what your inner chatter is saying. Then consciously take steps to changing your thoughts and seeing the glass as half full. A daily reflection of gratitude and appreciation goes along way toward improving your self care, your self worth, and your whole life.

I acknowledge all mothers out there who on a daily basis participate in one of the most challenging, yet rewarding roles any woman can have in her life time. Take an opportunity to acknowledge yourself for the many big and little things you do. Honor yourself from a place of kindness and gentleness. We do what we know to be the best at the time. Forgive yourself when needed and celebrate yourself whether you think you need it or not. We all deserve to be celebrated. Here’s to you…Cheers!!!

Article written by Peggy Porter-The Success Coach for Mom Entrepreneurs

All Rights Reserved. Article may be reprinted in its entirety with resource box included.

Peggy Porter is a coach, author and speaker.  Peggy is known as The Success Coach for Mom Entrepreneurs and helps them plan, prioritize and be more productive so they can make more money in their business, spend more quality time with family and bring more energy and less stress to their own lives.   In her free report The 3 Essential Keys to Mom Entrepreneur Success found at www.peggyporter.com , Peggy shows Mom Entrepreneurs what is needed to have a successful family and successful business, at the same time!

Balance, Wellness self care, Wellness, working mom

February is the month of love, the month to take time to share a special moment with our sweetheart and to reflect on the matters of the heart.

Our heart is the foundation of our lives, emotionally and physically. It is the pump house for our body’s fuel and the keeper of our spirit. It energizes us through life’s daily demands and can maintain and console us through life’s sorrows and heartaches. Our heart is constantly working to sustain and guide us to the life we are meant to live.

This month along with celebrating your love for those around you, celebrate and honor the sacred place that makes love possible. Today, I want to share with you these self-care tips for the heart.

Nourish it with great food - As you know, deep fried, fatty foods can clog arteries that block the flow of blood to our major organs. This month pay special attention to your nutrition with lots of fruits, veggies, lean meats and fish. Pass on the french fries, fast food, high sugar and high fat foods. Ask yourself, “Is this food something that will help or hurt my heart?” Make the connection with the fact that what you eat absolutely affects your health. Your heart deserves the best so make your food choices with that in mind.

Do something you love - Our heart rejoices when we do. Every time we experience joy, it positively affects our health and well-being. It relaxes us and decreases stress, not to mention adds joy to our lives. Get out there and find something to do that is fun and brings you pleasure. It may be participating in a favorite activity or having lunch with your girlfriends. Whatever it is, schedule it in no matter how busy a month you have. Your heart will thank you for it.

Get moving - There is nothing the heart loves more than to get that blood pumping. Exercise is a must so that the heart can sustain you in living a long, healthy life. Grab a friend and go for a lunch time walk or get the kids outside for a game of tag. Enjoy a morning run or a round of golf with your husband. Be creative and think, “How can I get some exercise in to my schedule today?” Consistent exercise strengthens the heart so it can function more efficiently. The more efficient it is, the more energized and efficient you will be. If your energy levels are low and you have the mid February blah’s, exercise can relieve and remedy both.

Share a piece of your heart - The saying, “it is better to give than receive” are words of wisdom from the heart. Making a contribution, whether big or small, can increase our hearts capacity for love. Contributions can be in the way of time, money, kind words or thoughtful acts. Letting someone know how much you appreciate them can make your heart and theirs a little stronger.

Listen to your heart - Spend some time this month connecting with your heart and all its wisdom. As they say, “get out of your head and into your heart”. Let your heart be your guide when you have a decision to make or are faced with a particular challenge. Don’t try to figure it all out in your head, instead, get quiet and allow the answer to come to you. Have faith that your heart knows what is best for you.

This Valentines Day, let it be more than a celebration of love. Let it be a celebration of life. Your life. A life that is like no other. A life that is fueled with love from the heart, your heart and every other heart that passes through. That is one thing we all share, a heart that wants to be loved, accepted, needed and wanted. When yours is strong, you have so much more to share with others. What can you do today to make your heart sing?

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Wellness