As women, we are often sharing our life experiences and knowledge in the form of advice. We generously volunteer information that may help a friend, co-worker or family member.

While doing a personal growth exercise during a course I was taking, I was asked the question, “What life advice would you give yourself?” Giving others advice often comes naturally, however, this question took some contemplating. I started thinking about what words of wisdom I would want my children to know.

Here is what I wrote:

Follow your dreams. Keep your goals in view. Live the life you want to live and do whatever it takes to make that happen. Don’t allow fear to consume you; instead let it propel you forward. Celebrate the successes no matter how small because small successes can be just as sweet as the big ones. Stay positive because negativity can kill your dreams and prevent you from reaching your goals. Life is all about choices. You decide how you want it to play out. Choose wisely. Concentrate each day on making a difference in someone else’s life. Nurture your relationships as they are truly what counts in this lifetime. Laugh and laugh some more. Live each day with your priorities in mind. Do not allow guilt to consume your life. Stop doing long enough to enjoy being. Lighten up and don’t take life so seriously, enjoy the process. Share your love through kind words, thoughtfulness and affection. Hug those you love and smile at strangers. Relish the memories of every stage of your child’s life. Be good to yourself everyday. Feed your body and mind with the best. Relax, deep breathe and give yourself a break. Strive to be happy, not perfect. Always be grateful and live in the moment. Tomorrow will take care of it self. Take every opportunity to spend time with those you love. The housework will always be there but those you love may not. Last but not least, pray a little every day.

Would any of this advice make a difference in your life? What wise words would you write for yourself or for your children?

The best advice I have ever heard can be summed up in a few words. They hang above the door of my living room and I read them daily…Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much. I cannot give myself or anyone else better advice than that.

Balance, Family, Wellness

Are you searching for happiness?

Are you always chasing success?

Do you compare your life to others and long for what they have?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are not alone. Many women are on a journey to find more satisfaction and purpose in their lives. As a coach, that is exactly what I help many of my clients discover. One of the first places I get them to start is with gratitude-to recognize the good that is already present in their daily lives. Gratitude is a key ingredient for a happy and satisfying life.

In today’s society, it is often the pursuit of achieving more that many people concentrate on. Expressing gratitude for the blessings in life may not come easy for some. We so often forget how good we have it until tragedy or stressful circumstances occur.

The desire to have more abundance in your life is normal, however when you are unable to appreciate and be grateful for what you already have, the ability to enjoy life is affected.

Take note of people you know who are truly happy and passionate about life. What makes them happy? Is it because of what they have or is it because they appreciate and are truly grateful for what they have?

What you focus on expands so if you want more blessings to come into your life, give thanks for the ones that you already have. Consider and express all the abundance in your life. Cultivating an attitude of gratitude allows you to feel blessed even during the most hectic and stressful days.

Stop waiting for things to be perfect, all the bills to be paid, the successful job to come and that model figure. Start taking stock now and begin appreciating what is right in front of you. This moment is your life and you can decide whether you appreciate it or complain about it.

To feel balanced and content in life may require you to make many changes. Some may be big changes. The one small thing however, that can totally transform you and change how you live your life is to be grateful.

Start recording or reflecting on a daily basis what you have to be grateful for. Consistent reflection and expression of gratitude will change your outlook on life. Negative people rarely consider their blessings and positive people never forget theirs. You get to choose which one you want to be. Gratitude doesn’t cost a cent, takes little time, and you can start immediately.

What are you waiting for?

Balance, Family, Wellness

Have you felt stressed in the past due to the never ending desire to keep up with the neighbours? If so, you are not alone. Attempting to do this is a common source of societal stress that people do not often recognize.

Not only does this type of stressor affect you mentally and physically, it has an enormous effect on you financially. When you are struggling to meet monthly bills and add to that the purchasing of items you do not need, finances cannot help but be affected.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Constantly comparing ourselves to others is nothing but a waste of our time and energy. It is a stressor that is becoming more prevalent as our society continues to judge people by what they look like and what they own.

Sarah Ban Breathnach, author of Simple Abundance says, “Comparisons are insidious, odious, and very often our self-torture of choice.” Comparing ourselves to others places more unrealistic expectations on ourselves and can be a major blow to our self-esteem.

All of this comparing and judging has a major effect on how we live our life. The belief that you need to have what others have can be never-ending. When is enough, enough? For many people there is never enough because they place value on themselves by what they possess.

Credit card debt is higher than ever before and only a small percentage pay their bill in full each month. Financial stress can affect every aspect of our life, and for many, this debt is a result of wanting things we don’t need and can’t afford. It comes from a sense of wanting - all for the wrong reasons.

Our children learn at a very young age that material things are important and name brands are the way to go. They want what other kids have and innocently, as parents wanting what is best for our children, we give it to them. If Tommy has it, my kid should too. I believe it teaches our children that it is important to have what other people have. Is that what we really want them to grow up believing?

Today, many people buy for their children because they feel guilty for not having time to spend with them. Often, we don’t have time to spend with them because both parents are working extremely hard to pay off debt they may have accumulated needlessly. Somehow, what we believe to be our basic needs have changed over time and at the expense of our health, finances and family unit.

Have I been guilty of spending money on things I didn’t need or couldn’t afford? Absolutely. Will I do it again? Probably. However, as I get older, I am more realistic of what I can afford and what truly brings me joy. Material things can and do bring me joy but not if I am buying them all for the wrong reasons. I am becoming more aware of the lessons I am teaching my children and realizing what is really important for me to accumulate in this life time. What do I want to accumulate more of? Friends, freedom, fun, time with family, good health, love, laughter and of course, a little money to go a long with that! Money that can give me a sense of security and freedom instead of being used to fill my house with things that do not enhance the quality of my life.

We can never keep up with the Joneses because the Joneses are trying to keep with the Smith’s and the Smith’s are trying to keep up with the Brown’s and so on and so on. What can we do?

• Start by enjoying the simple things and making more conscious choices when purchasing items.
• Set up an appointment with a financial planner so you can see what your present financial picture looks like as well as setting some goals for the future.
• Make your own wish list (a hot tub is on the top of mine!) and continue to work towards this.
• Don’t let jealousy and envy of what the neighbors possess, rob you of enjoying what you already have in your life.
• Be happy for others’ success and know in your heart that you have all you really need.
• Value people for who they are and not what they have.

If you want to leave this life with a wonderful legacy, make people count, not possessions. Remember, what you focus on expands. Stop focusing on what you don’t have, be grateful for what you do have, be happy for others and then watch your wish list materialize- without the credit card debt!

Balance, Family

As the school year comes to an end, I find this month a very busy time. With the summer vacation coming, many of us are looking forward to a less hectic schedule and more down time. This all seems like a great summer plan, yet the summer seems to pass us by so furiously and in September we are asking ourselves, where has the summer gone??? We may end up feeling just as stressed and exhausted when school starts as when it ended.

So, how can we begin to slow down and ensure a memorable and rejuvenating few months?

Consider first the reasons why you may be demanding so much of yourself. What is the rush? Does everything need to be done at this moment? Can you take small steps towards achieving big goals instead of feeling the need to accomplish it all at once? The summer flies by so pick your projects sparingly so you can have time to enjoy the kids and still have down time for Mom as well.

To be more productive and efficient in reaching our goals, we need to take time for renewal. How do you fit some relief into your busy life?

Start by making a habit of deep breathing several times throughout the day. It triggers an automatic relaxation response and can be done anywhere. It keeps you focused in the present moment and reduces stress immediately.

Take frequent small breaks whether you are home or at work. Coffee breaks were designed for a reason, so use them effectively. Do not pass on your break thinking you will accomplish more. We need this down time for maximum efficiency. Be aware however, of how you spend your break, because a healthy snack, short walk, and stretch are more energy producing than a coffee and doughnut. If you are home, take time to relax outdoors with a cool drink and revel in the beauty of the sights and sounds of the summer season.

Do what you love on a regular basis. If you have a favorite sport or activity, make sure you participate in it often. An hour or two a week of doing what you love can have many positive benefits, mentally and physically. Having time for yourself during the summer gives you the stamina and energy to enjoy more fully, your time with the kids.

Ask the kids at the beginning of the summer, what are some of their favorite past times. This way you can plan ahead and your children get to feel valued by being asked. It also ensures that they get to enjoy what they really love to do. Be aware though of over scheduling your summer. Strike a balance of fun activities for all family members involved.

Make your holidays a priority. Vacations are a luxury no longer–they are a necessity. You need time to recharge and rejuvenate from the daily stressors. If you are having a difficult time taking vacation due to job demands, consider taking a day of down time when you can squeeze it in. Remember; nurture yourself first and everyone else will also benefit.

Make exercise, sleep, and good nutrition part of a healthy, rewarding summer for the whole family. There is nothing harder than reaching September and having those extra pounds to lose and having to get back into an exercise routine. With less of a regular routine for many families it is easy to get away from established healthy routines regarding meals and sleep. There is opportunity for many late nights, yummy barbequed hot dogs and huge ice creams cones to cool down on a hot day. A summer certainly wouldn’t be a summer without all these things. Keep in mind, however, more isn’t better in this case. Enjoy and savor them all when you have the opportunity but balance it out with days of early nights, corn on the cob and a frozen yogurt!!!

The most important thing to remember about the upcoming summer months is to make them memorable. You do that by being present and taking the time to stop and smell the roses. As most of you realize, life passes us by very quickly and we don’t appreciate the time we do have together as a family. Often we are so busy with schedules, yard work and disciplining that the real memories pass us by…a bike ride through a beautiful trail, the marshmallow roast on a moonlit night, the camping trip when the tent fell down and the water fight when Mom got soaked from a water balloon gone wrong.

So, this summer make sure at the top of your to do list it says…Enjoy!!! And not just the special occasions but every occasion because life really is just one big special occasion, isn’t it?

So when you are kicking up your heels in delight and someone asks you what you are celebrating you can say…Life!!!!

Balance

Many women feel that the countless responsibilities they have each day are like trying to manage a very tricky juggling act.  If they drop one ball their entire act is a failure.

The key though, is to consider how many of these balls or responsibilities are really necessary to make the act effective.  When you feel the need to let one of the balls or responsibilities go, do it without guilt.  Then determine if it should have been there in the first place.

Remember even the professional juggler can only handle so many balls in their juggling act.  By adding just one more than he can handle, he risks dropping all of them. Reducing your responsibilities will make you feel less like the stressed juggler and more like a balanced mom.  

Action Step for this week…

Write down all the balls you are juggling presently.  Ask yourself if you believe you are juggling them successfully.  If just the thought of all your responsibilities overwhelm you, then it is time to consider which balls you can drop or look at managing in a more effective way.

For example, to help me juggle more effectively, shortly after both my kids went to school, I requested to work nights in my nursing job.  Juggling the balls of 12 hour days, after school child care, homework and lunches were exhausting me.  Working nights allowed me to sleep when the kids were in school, be home when they got off the bus and be available for homework.  Juggling the balls became easier.

This is just one example of how you may be able to more successfully juggle responsibilities. The clients I work with have individual situations and unique goals. Together we look at their “hot spots” or areas of stress and see what changes may be able to be made.

It is important to remember that no matter how overwhelming your situation may appear, there are always other options and choices that can be made.

So, take a look at your juggling skills this week.  Do you feel successful at it or are all your balls ready to come crashing down?

If you are feeling drained and exhausted, it is time to examine what choices you may have or changes that can be made.  It might include, delegating some responsibilities, hiring a housecleaner, taking a daily walk, saying NO to requests of your time, cutting back on hours of work, deciding to go back to work, hiring a coach, going to see your doctor, spending more time with friends…..  The list is endless as to the ways and choices you have to make yourself more effective at juggling and balancing daily life.

Spend some time this week at assessing your own skills and don’t add another ball unless you have a hand to spare!

Article written by Peggy Porter-The Success Coach for Mom Entrepreneurs

All Rights Reserved. Article may be reprinted in its entirety with resource box included.

Peggy Porter is a coach, author and speaker.  Peggy is known as The Success Coach for Mom Entrepreneurs and helps them plan, prioritize and be more productive so they can make more money in their business, spend more quality time with family and bring more energy and less stress to their own lives.   In her fr*ee report The 3 Essential Keys to Mom Entrepreneur Success found at www.peggyporter.com , Peggy shows Mom Entrepreneurs what is needed to have a successful family and successful business, at the same time!

Balance, Wellness coping, mom entrepreneur, Wellness