If there is one word that I hear more than any other in today’s society, it is “STRESS”.

I have presented information on this topic in my job as a nurse as well in my coaching with women. Women are sometimes consumed with multiple stressors all happening at the same time. In coaching, I am often supporting women in decreasing their stressors and increasing their stress resistance so they are better equipped to handle the daily stressors in their life.

One of the greatest stress management tools you can possess, however, is the ability to put everything into perspective. How you perceive your life has a profound effect on how you deal with stress and your level of happiness.

For an event to be a stressor, we first need to perceive it as such. What if we were to take note of the little daily demands that we find stressful and experiment with changing our perception of these demands?

Look at your commute to work in heavy traffic as an opportunity to listen to your favorite music or motivational CD. How about using your supper preparation as a time to spend with the kids. Get them involved in some way. Stress is in the eye of the beholder. What may be one person’s stressor could be another’s saviour.

This week also experiment with the role your thoughts have in how calm or chaotic your day is. Notice how negative thoughts can spiral into a stressful day and when the majority of your thoughts are positive, your daily routine tends to run much smoother.

We are often doing the same daily tasks but some days they seem more overwhelming than others. Why - because of how we perceive them. Certain days preparing supper can be an enjoyable task while other times it is one more job added to my TO DO list. It totally depends on my thinking.

One simple way to reduce the stress and create more balance in your life - change your thinking. Recognize when negativity takes over your day and stop it ASAP. When we start thinking our life is overwhelming, it will become just that.

Start living in the moment and remind yourself how precious life is. Practice becoming more flexible as life always involves a series of changes. Embrace then instead of resisting them. We only go around this way once!!!

Quote by Gillian MacBeth-Louthan:

“Whenever a negative thought comes, delete it and replace it with a good thought or good
intention. This will take some practice and concentrated effort, but it can be done.
Instead of continuously manifesting what you do not want in your life, change your focus. Practice adjusting the lens of your perception.

It is Universal law that all of life will respond to our thoughts.
So hold on tight to what your heart desires.”

Balance, Wellness

Have you ever had a difficult decision to make and your head was telling you one thing while your heart was telling you another?

Recently, I had an opportunity to experience this for myself.

My son, Sam, who just finished kindergarten, was registered for French Immersion. His sister, Maggie, had just completed Grade 2 French and loved every minute of this experience. When my husband and I had decided to place Maggie in Immersion, it required some thought and discussion with the school and other parents. For anyone who has talked to parents regarding their views on French Immersion, you know that there are many opinions and in the end you just have to do what will work best for you and your child.

Because Maggie was in Immersion, we automatically placed Sam in it with little hesitation. He was a strong student and loved school. Although, initially shy, quickly warmed up and made some great friends. When I announced to Sam that he would be going into Immersion and moving to a different school for Grade One, he just nodded in agreement.

The decision to do this - which was once clear - quickly became more difficult. Sam soon found out that his three very best friends (in the whole wide world) were remaining in the English program and that is where he was going to stay!

Here is where the head versus the heart comes in. For the next few months my head spoke to me. My head told me that he would quickly make new friends; it doesn’t make sense to keep him back from this opportunity because his friends aren’t going, he would be in a different program than his sister, and on and on my head spoke very clear and logical explanations as to why I should stick with my decision.

Move over head, here comes the heart. As strong and clear as the reasoning of my head, the emotion of my heart was stronger. It became increasingly clear to me that I needed to listen to it. Yes, my son was only 6 but he knew exactly what he wanted. His heart was telling him, he wanted to be with his friends. I knew I could always choose Late Immersion. I knew that Sam would learn French fluently at some point in his life. Maybe it would be more difficult later on, I understood this. However, knowing he was starting Grade One, running onto the bus, excited to be with his three best friends, that to me was far more important.

When my husband and I finally let our heart win, all our anxieties and worries quickly melted away. When we told others, not everyone agreed with this decision, however when a mother knows in her heart what is best for her child that is all she needs to listen to.

Will Sam remain friends with these young boys? Who knows? All I know is that I have given him an opportunity that feels right for our family. In the grand scheme of things, in the words of Robert Fulghum from “All I ever really needed to know I learned in kindergarten”, Sam has learned the most important lesson already from these three boys…”When you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.” I have just given him another chance to practice.

So next time you have a difficult decision to make, no matter what area of life it may be in, listen for what feels right. Keep in mind that our head can be very influential but our heart never lies.

Balance, Family, Wellness

As women, we are often sharing our life experiences and knowledge in the form of advice. We generously volunteer information that may help a friend, co-worker or family member.

While doing a personal growth exercise during a course I was taking, I was asked the question, “What life advice would you give yourself?” Giving others advice often comes naturally, however, this question took some contemplating. I started thinking about what words of wisdom I would want my children to know.

Here is what I wrote:

Follow your dreams. Keep your goals in view. Live the life you want to live and do whatever it takes to make that happen. Don’t allow fear to consume you; instead let it propel you forward. Celebrate the successes no matter how small because small successes can be just as sweet as the big ones. Stay positive because negativity can kill your dreams and prevent you from reaching your goals. Life is all about choices. You decide how you want it to play out. Choose wisely. Concentrate each day on making a difference in someone else’s life. Nurture your relationships as they are truly what counts in this lifetime. Laugh and laugh some more. Live each day with your priorities in mind. Do not allow guilt to consume your life. Stop doing long enough to enjoy being. Lighten up and don’t take life so seriously, enjoy the process. Share your love through kind words, thoughtfulness and affection. Hug those you love and smile at strangers. Relish the memories of every stage of your child’s life. Be good to yourself everyday. Feed your body and mind with the best. Relax, deep breathe and give yourself a break. Strive to be happy, not perfect. Always be grateful and live in the moment. Tomorrow will take care of it self. Take every opportunity to spend time with those you love. The housework will always be there but those you love may not. Last but not least, pray a little every day.

Would any of this advice make a difference in your life? What wise words would you write for yourself or for your children?

The best advice I have ever heard can be summed up in a few words. They hang above the door of my living room and I read them daily…Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much. I cannot give myself or anyone else better advice than that.

Balance, Family, Wellness

Are you searching for happiness?

Are you always chasing success?

Do you compare your life to others and long for what they have?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are not alone. Many women are on a journey to find more satisfaction and purpose in their lives. As a coach, that is exactly what I help many of my clients discover. One of the first places I get them to start is with gratitude-to recognize the good that is already present in their daily lives. Gratitude is a key ingredient for a happy and satisfying life.

In today’s society, it is often the pursuit of achieving more that many people concentrate on. Expressing gratitude for the blessings in life may not come easy for some. We so often forget how good we have it until tragedy or stressful circumstances occur.

The desire to have more abundance in your life is normal, however when you are unable to appreciate and be grateful for what you already have, the ability to enjoy life is affected.

Take note of people you know who are truly happy and passionate about life. What makes them happy? Is it because of what they have or is it because they appreciate and are truly grateful for what they have?

What you focus on expands so if you want more blessings to come into your life, give thanks for the ones that you already have. Consider and express all the abundance in your life. Cultivating an attitude of gratitude allows you to feel blessed even during the most hectic and stressful days.

Stop waiting for things to be perfect, all the bills to be paid, the successful job to come and that model figure. Start taking stock now and begin appreciating what is right in front of you. This moment is your life and you can decide whether you appreciate it or complain about it.

To feel balanced and content in life may require you to make many changes. Some may be big changes. The one small thing however, that can totally transform you and change how you live your life is to be grateful.

Start recording or reflecting on a daily basis what you have to be grateful for. Consistent reflection and expression of gratitude will change your outlook on life. Negative people rarely consider their blessings and positive people never forget theirs. You get to choose which one you want to be. Gratitude doesn’t cost a cent, takes little time, and you can start immediately.

What are you waiting for?

Balance, Family, Wellness

At this time of year I find myself struggling to get back into a more regular routine after the summer holidays. This transition from summer to fall always results in me attempting to get back on track with my personal wellness plan. For anyone else who may be struggling to begin, maintain or return to a personal wellness plan, here are some tips you may find useful:

1. Consider first what personal wellness means to you. Everyone has their own unique idea. For me it is to feel fit physically, mentally, spiritually and financially.

2. What areas do you want to improve? Finances, relationships, work, health, personal growth?

3. What goals do you want to reach in these particular areas? When you decide, write them down. Make sure they are realistic and specific. For example, to be out of debt by the end of 2005 or to have lost 10lbs by the end of November.

4. Consider the areas you have chosen to concentrate on and determine what has already been working for you. You do not have to reinvent the wheel. If you are satisfied with your progress in a certain area and it has been working well, maybe you only need to maintain it or vary it slightly.

5. What roadblocks in the past have kept you from reaching your goals? Was time a factor? If so, look at what would work better. Your plan has to include activities you enjoy and are able to maintain without too much struggle. If you hate running but love walking, don’t force yourself to run. Do what you love, not what you feel you should be doing.

6. After writing down your goals, start to develop a plan to get you there. As a coach, helping a client develop a plan is one of the first steps we take after they have set their goals. For instance, if exercise is something you have chosen, decide what type of activity you will do, as well as how often and for how long.

7. What are the first action steps that need to be taken in order to carry out your plan? If you have decided to get out of debt, the first action may be to determine the total amount of debt you are carrying.

8. Once you have determined what steps need to be taken, review them. Are they small enough so as not to overwhelm you? Be realistic. Taking baby steps toward your goal will increase your chances of achieving it. Remember, small and consistent steps will guarantee success.

9. If possible, work with a coach, partner or group for support. Accountability is a great motivator towards achieving your goals and a partner or coach can make it a lot more fun.

10. Most important…recognize accomplishments daily and make a commitment to yourself to improve the quality of your life.

Your level of personal wellness plays a huge part in your happiness, ability to deal with stress and fight disease. I challenge you to grab a pen and start writing your personal plan today.

Wellness