Many women feel that the countless responsibilities they have each day are like trying to manage a very tricky juggling act.  If they drop one ball their entire act is a failure.

The key though, is to consider how many of these balls or responsibilities are really necessary to make the act effective.  When you feel the need to let one of the balls or responsibilities go, do it without guilt.  Then determine if it should have been there in the first place.

Remember even the professional juggler can only handle so many balls in their juggling act.  By adding just one more than he can handle, he risks dropping all of them. Reducing your responsibilities will make you feel less like the stressed juggler and more like a balanced mom.  

Action Step for this week…

Write down all the balls you are juggling presently.  Ask yourself if you believe you are juggling them successfully.  If just the thought of all your responsibilities overwhelm you, then it is time to consider which balls you can drop or look at managing in a more effective way.

For example, to help me juggle more effectively, shortly after both my kids went to school, I requested to work nights in my nursing job.  Juggling the balls of 12 hour days, after school child care, homework and lunches were exhausting me.  Working nights allowed me to sleep when the kids were in school, be home when they got off the bus and be available for homework.  Juggling the balls became easier.

This is just one example of how you may be able to more successfully juggle responsibilities. The clients I work with have individual situations and unique goals. Together we look at their “hot spots” or areas of stress and see what changes may be able to be made.

It is important to remember that no matter how overwhelming your situation may appear, there are always other options and choices that can be made.

So, take a look at your juggling skills this week.  Do you feel successful at it or are all your balls ready to come crashing down?

If you are feeling drained and exhausted, it is time to examine what choices you may have or changes that can be made.  It might include, delegating some responsibilities, hiring a housecleaner, taking a daily walk, saying NO to requests of your time, cutting back on hours of work, deciding to go back to work, hiring a coach, going to see your doctor, spending more time with friends…..  The list is endless as to the ways and choices you have to make yourself more effective at juggling and balancing daily life.

Spend some time this week at assessing your own skills and don’t add another ball unless you have a hand to spare!

Article written by Peggy Porter-The Success Coach for Mom Entrepreneurs

All Rights Reserved. Article may be reprinted in its entirety with resource box included.

Peggy Porter is a coach, author and speaker.  Peggy is known as The Success Coach for Mom Entrepreneurs and helps them plan, prioritize and be more productive so they can make more money in their business, spend more quality time with family and bring more energy and less stress to their own lives.   In her fr*ee report The 3 Essential Keys to Mom Entrepreneur Success found at www.peggyporter.com , Peggy shows Mom Entrepreneurs what is needed to have a successful family and successful business, at the same time!

Balance, Wellness coping, mom entrepreneur, Wellness

Quote

“Your personal boundaries protect the inner core of your identity and your right to choice
-Gerard Manley Hopkins

When working with my clients, a challenge they often share is being able to set clear boundaries. Boundaries are like an imaginary fence you build around yourself.  This fence provides protection and resistance against stress, anxiety, burnout, low self-worth and depression.

You need strong boundaries for balance, self-protection and self- respect.  You also need them for building and maintaining healthy relationships with family, friends and co-workers.

Because we are natural caregivers, setting boundaries is often a struggle for us.  When others ask for help, we find it difficult to refuse.  Sometimes when we set boundaries, they may be inconsistent.

Opportunities to practice setting boundaries show up at home, in the office, with friends or family, and within us.
Here are some examples that indicate you may need to set clearer and stronger boundaries:

•    You say yes when you want to say no (disease to please)
•    You struggle with being assertive and communicating your feelings
•    You give in because you do not want to experience any conflict or resistance in your life
•    You find yourself stressed and overwhelmed by life
•    You are exhausted spiritually, emotionally and physically
•    You are always doing for everyone else, leaving no time or energy for you

Having poor boundaries is the number one reason why many women feel stressed, overwhelmed, resentful and joyless.  Without the protection of boundaries other people will continue to run your life.

When you begin to establish and strengthen your boundaries, your life will not change overnight.  Boundaries take time to develop and setting them may make you uncomfortable at first.  Hang in there and don’t give up.  Being consistent and thinking positive will go a long way in developing healthy and strong boundaries.

Stay tuned for my next article and I will share some tips on how you can start strengthening your boundaries, immediately.

Peggy’s Pick
Click this link http://dougkelley.podomatic.com/ and listen to the two-part podcast on Healthy Boundaries.

If you’re struggling with saying No, being a people pleaser, and challenged with setting clear healthy boundaries, then email me at peggy@seekingbalance.ca for a thirty minute complimentary session. Get started today in developing boundaries that strengthen and empower you as a mom, woman and business owner.

Balance, Wellness Balance, boundaries, Wellness

Have you ever had a goal you set and were trying to reach?  Do you set goals for yourself in areas of career, family, finances and maybe health?  Are you working towards organizing the house, paying off debt or saving for that new car?

For most women I know, goal setting is a part of life.  Whether many of you physically focus on setting goals or not, you probably do it without knowing.  Making plans for vacation, getting your retirement portfolio developed, working towards a new healthy weight; all of these are goals in progress.
As a coach, a big part of the support I offer my clients is helping them become clear on their goal, and then developing a plan of action to reach it.

Personally, I have many goals and dreams, some written, some in my heart.  I believe goals are what gives us hope and motivates us into action.

The thing I see with many, however, is that they are so focused on reaching that goal; they miss out on the ride along the way.  As a society there is so much emphasis on the DOING, we forget about the BEING.  We think that when we accomplish a set goal, then we will be happier, more satisfied and oh so successful.  Our belief is that when we get there then we can BE.

What many of us haven’t figured out yet is that life is all about living while in the process of reaching goals.  Life is about living in the gap-from where you are now and where you want to go.  We never only have one goal and then when we reach it think, “Wow, I’ve made it, now I can start living and be satisfied being here for the rest of my life.”

What gets us so stuck at times is that we think we will be happier when we reach this goal or that goal.  We forget that when we reach this or that goal, we come up with a new goal.  So, if our happiness and satisfaction rested on us reaching each goal, we would never be happy because it is our nature to constantly have new desires for our selves!!!

Humans evolve and change.  We seek growth and are constantly expressing hopes, dreams and goals.  Life is all about change and creation.  Our job is to BE in the flow of life while we DO.

So, if you are waiting until you lose that 20 pounds or get that job, or have a more organized house, before you can to BE happy, successful, satisfied, appreciative, I suggest you get into the feeling of Being that NOW!

Find ways to add more joy to your daily life.  Look at the things you love to do and start making them more a part of your life.  Take time to stop and smell the roses.  Appreciate your partner, your co-worker or pet your animals.  Deep breathe and relish in the beauty of nature. Look for the best in situations and take time for you.  Be more present with people and activities as you go about your day.  Seek ways to connect with others and give of yourself when it feels good to do so.

Remember, life is about living in the gap so keep focused on your goals while having a heck of a good time in that gap!!!

Article written by Peggy Porter-The Success Coach for Mom Entrepreneurs

All Rights Reserved. Article may be reprinted in its entirety with resource box included.

Peggy Porter is a coach, author and speaker.  Peggy is known as The Success Coach for Mom Entrepreneurs and helps them plan, prioritize and be more productive so they can make more money in their business, spend more quality time with family and bring more energy and less stress to their own lives.   In her fr*ee report The 3 Essential Keys to Mom Entrepreneur Success found at www.peggyporter.com , Peggy shows Mom Entrepreneurs what is needed to have a successful family and successful business, at the same time!

Balance, Wellness goal setting, goals, life balance, Wellness

Have you ever wondered what your purpose is in life?  Do you believe you are here for a reason?  For many people, these questions are far too abstract and difficult, yet others love to ponder the answers.

What I have noticed is that as women age they become more inquisitive, more curious as to why they are here and what they are REALLY here to do.

I am one who loves to continually ask myself this question and am extremely interested in what other people believe.  Some are very clear on what their purpose is and many go through this life never knowing or even asking.

Personally, I believe our main purpose is to experience joy on a daily basis. What gives us joy and how we bring it into our lives however is all very individual.  The difficulty often lies in the fact that as busy women we may not take the time to really ask, “what truly brings me joy?”

If your life purpose or mission is something you want to discover, start asking yourself some powerful questions.  What drives or inspires you?  When do you feel truly happy and connected?  What brings you joy?  Where do you feel you contribute the most?  What do you value?  What energizes you?  When you leave this world, what do you want people to remember you for?  The answers to these questions can often help you develop your life purpose.

Knowing and believing you are put here on this earth for a particular reason can bring much joy, happiness and contentment into your life.  We tend to struggle less and enjoy life more.  Often you hear people say, “I feel stuck,” or “I don’t know what I am supposed to do with my life.”  In my coaching sessions with women, these are common statements.  Discovering your purpose gives focus to your life, therefore more meaning and clarity.

The first step to determining your life purpose is to become clearer on your priorities and to begin practicing better self-care.  Chaos creates confusion so look at ways to bring more balance and peace to your life.  Start a habit of always asking yourself questions.

Self questioning is one of the best ways to learn more about who we are and why we are here.  Reflect on and journal the answers to the questions I asked earlier.  Be inquisitive about life in general.  There is so much to be discovered.  Be patient and enjoy the process.

Determining your purpose can be an ongoing journey, but once you discover it, you will attract everything you need in this life.  When you know why you are here, the journey becomes a whole lot more fun.  So hang on and enJOY the ride!!!

Balance, Family, Wellness life purpose, self care

Quote:

” A mother who radiates self acceptance and self love actually vaccinates her daughter against low self esteem”. Naomi Wolf

When I work with a mom who is struggling with work life balance, one of the exercises I sometimes have them do is to write down all their beliefs about being a mother.  Often much of the guilt we feel as mothers is related to the unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves.

If you have a belief that all mothers should love motherhood then those days when you feel like packing your suitcase(and there could be many!) and buying a one way ticket may end up resulting in extreme feelings of guilt.  If you believe that good mothers should stay home to raise their children and you have a desire to have a career, conflicting emotions will certainly appear.  What about yelling?  Do good mothers yell and scream?  Do good mothers take a vacation by themselves?  Do good mothers give in to their children’s many requests?

As you see there are many beliefs we may hold without even realizing it.  Our beliefs shape our lives but we rarely examine our belief system.

So, get a pen and paper and write down all the beliefs you have about what a good mother is or does.  Now look at these and decide if the beliefs are empowering beliefs or limiting beliefs.  For example, if you have a belief that a good mother shouldn’t have babysitters raising their kids and you have a sitter almost daily, then this belief is far from empowering you as a mother.  This would unconsciously result in conflicting and confusing emotions, guilt and a battered sense of accomplishment as a mom.

Next, for all the beliefs you identify as self sabotaging, turn them around to be empowering and begin to adopt this as your new belief.  As in the example above, turning this belief around can result in something like this….A good mother knows that using a babysitter is often a necessary part of motherhood.  Now doesn’t that make you feel better and more successful as a mom?

Recently while working with a client, I gave her this exercise and she shared with me that she had found it extremely helpful in moving her forward as a mother and as a woman.  We had worked together for several months around beliefs and other issues. At the end of our coaching she had said that the biggest result she had gotten was that she felt happier in her life.  She really had changed the perception of her identity as a mother and started being less judgmental of herself.  She became more accepting and gave herself permission to be imperfect as a mother. She also enjoyed her kids more.

Holding unrealistic expectations of ourselves can cause great stress and anxiety.  When we are able to challenge these expectations or beliefs, we give ourselves permission to be imperfect, to be human.  It is through our imperfect moments where real growth can occur.

Being able to accept these imperfections is part of a healthy identity in motherhood.  So drop the Super Mom Syndrome, stop judging yourself and other mothers, create expectations that work for you not against you and remember there is no university with a Motherhood Degree.  It is all trial and error and we do the best we can at the time.

To accept ourselves as we are is the most powerful thing we can model to our children.    So let’s build ourselves up instead of putting ourselves down.  Let’s respect the decisions’ of other mothers because they are not us.  Let’s allow each mother to have their own unique identity.  Let’s make motherhood be about empowering ourselves and each other. Let’s start today.  Our kids are counting on it.

Article written by Peggy Porter-The Success Coach for Mom Entrepreneurs

All Rights Reserved. Article may be reprinted in its entirety with resource box included.

Peggy Porter is a coach, author and speaker.  Peggy is known as The Success Coach for Mom Entrepreneurs and helps them plan, prioritize and be more productive so they can make more money in their business, spend more quality time with family and bring more energy and less stress to their own lives.   In her fr*ee report The 3 Essential Keys to Mom Entrepreneur Success found at www.peggyporter.com , Peggy shows Mom Entrepreneurs what is needed to have a successful family and successful business, at the same time!

Balance, Family, Wellness Balance, motherhood, Wellness