Motherhood as a Spiritual Journey

As I was walking today, I felt something speak to me that said that I needed to reflect and share about motherhood being a truly spiritual journey.Where did this all come from? My guess is it’s because I have been questioning and exploring my own spiritual journey and how that plays out in my daily life…

Over the past few years, I have been doing a lot of personal growth work and focusing on figuring out my purpose and how to live that on a daily basis. I have read many books and listened to a load of seminars on personal growth topics and have become very interested in spirituality and what it means to me.

What is spirituality anyway?

I found a definition that says “spirituality is that which relates to or affects the human spirit or soul. Spirituality touches that part of you that is not dependant on material things or physical comforts.”

For me, it is how I relate to my day to day life and the connection I feel to the greater universe. It is knowing that there is something much bigger that I am a part of and discovering ways to access that source whenever I want or need to. It is about finding my own uniqueness and authenticity, finding a deeper meaning in the busyness of life and recognizing that my only real purpose on earth is to experience joy and help spread that joy to others.

Spirituality to me also means looking at the challenges of my life and using them as part of my spiritual learning. It is about releasing attachment to “how I think things should go”- a real challenge in itself!

What my spirit has been telling me is this…There are many other moms out there who are struggling with finding the meaning and purpose in their role as a mother and are surviving, not thriving in this role because it has become all consuming and overwhelming. So as I go through my own spiritual quest within motherhood, I am being asked by my inner wisdom to share this journey with all of you.

So, over the next while I will be journaling and posting my journey of how that plays out in my life. I hope this may inspire some of you to look within your own lives and discover how this “mom role” really is THE MOTHER of all spiritual journeys!

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Quote:

” A mother who radiates self acceptance and self love actually vaccinates her daughter against low self esteem”. Naomi Wolf

When I work with a mom who is struggling with work life balance, one of the exercises I sometimes have them do is to write down all their beliefs about being a mother.  Often much of the guilt we feel as mothers is related to the unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves.

If you have a belief that all mothers should love motherhood then those days when you feel like packing your suitcase(and there could be many!) and buying a one way ticket may end up resulting in extreme feelings of guilt.  If you believe that good mothers should stay home to raise their children and you have a desire to have a career, conflicting emotions will certainly appear.  What about yelling?  Do good mothers yell and scream?  Do good mothers take a vacation by themselves?  Do good mothers give in to their children’s many requests?

As you see there are many beliefs we may hold without even realizing it.  Our beliefs shape our lives but we rarely examine our belief system.

So, get a pen and paper and write down all the beliefs you have about what a good mother is or does.  Now look at these and decide if the beliefs are empowering beliefs or limiting beliefs.  For example, if you have a belief that a good mother shouldn’t have babysitters raising their kids and you have a sitter almost daily, then this belief is far from empowering you as a mother.  This would unconsciously result in conflicting and confusing emotions, guilt and a battered sense of accomplishment as a mom.

Next, for all the beliefs you identify as self sabotaging, turn them around to be empowering and begin to adopt this as your new belief.  As in the example above, turning this belief around can result in something like this….A good mother knows that using a babysitter is often a necessary part of motherhood.  Now doesn’t that make you feel better and more successful as a mom?

Recently while working with a client, I gave her this exercise and she shared with me that she had found it extremely helpful in moving her forward as a mother and as a woman.  We had worked together for several months around beliefs and other issues. At the end of our coaching she had said that the biggest result she had gotten was that she felt happier in her life.  She really had changed the perception of her identity as a mother and started being less judgmental of herself.  She became more accepting and gave herself permission to be imperfect as a mother. She also enjoyed her kids more.

Holding unrealistic expectations of ourselves can cause great stress and anxiety.  When we are able to challenge these expectations or beliefs, we give ourselves permission to be imperfect, to be human.  It is through our imperfect moments where real growth can occur.

Being able to accept these imperfections is part of a healthy identity in motherhood.  So drop the Super Mom Syndrome, stop judging yourself and other mothers, create expectations that work for you not against you and remember there is no university with a Motherhood Degree.  It is all trial and error and we do the best we can at the time.

To accept ourselves as we are is the most powerful thing we can model to our children.    So let’s build ourselves up instead of putting ourselves down.  Let’s respect the decisions’ of other mothers because they are not us.  Let’s allow each mother to have their own unique identity.  Let’s make motherhood be about empowering ourselves and each other. Let’s start today.  Our kids are counting on it.

Article written by Peggy Porter-The Success Coach for Mom Entrepreneurs

All Rights Reserved. Article may be reprinted in its entirety with resource box included.

Peggy Porter is a coach, author and speaker.  Peggy is known as The Success Coach for Mom Entrepreneurs and helps them plan, prioritize and be more productive so they can make more money in their business, spend more quality time with family and bring more energy and less stress to their own lives.   In her fr*ee report The 3 Essential Keys to Mom Entrepreneur Success found at www.peggyporter.com , Peggy shows Mom Entrepreneurs what is needed to have a successful family and successful business, at the same time!

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